Solicitously?

Yeah, I had to look it up.

I am studying Leviticus at the moment. It is a bit difficult to listen to what God is teaching me through this book as I trudge through the different types of sacrifices and laws and so on and so forth. Maybe patience. Maybe just the understanding of that time and place. Maybe to greatly appreciate the sacrifice of His son, the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. Maybe to realize that God still provides guidance.

Nevertheless, last night I read Leviticus 18:4, "You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the LORD your God." Now of course there could be a better word used or translated, but I began to think about the word "careful" used here. Be careful to follow my decrees.

To get a better sense of the scripture, I looked up careful in the dictionary. Now, don't get me wrong...I do have a general idea of what careful means. But I just wanted to dig a bit deeper. There were several definitions, all which we know such as,

- cautious in one's actions
or
- thorough
or
- done or performed with accuracy

But the one that really caught my attention, was
- solicitously mindful

Huh?

Solicitously means anxious, particular, even eager. Some synonyms include regardful and attentive.

I thought about the commands He has given us. I thought about the things He has called me to do. Have I been "careful" to follow, to obey? To be thorough or solicitous I must be aware of Christ's presence in my life at all times. I must be open to Him and listen carefully as He guides me. I must be eager and mindful, focused on Him.

So maybe I am learning somethings from Leviticus...

Embracing Change

It is time to!

And since this blog allows me to share what is going on with my life and what God is teaching me, it is only fitting that it changes as well and gets that much needed makeover.

Thanks to all who take the time to read the ramblings!

Juggling

A million thoughts pass through my mind per second and I wonder where to start. At the moment, I am juggling a few things. When I work on something, another thing I need to do starts to fall and I need to address that. And so the cycle continues...

But God provided rest this weekend!

I spent some amazing time with Grace and Tyler on Friday. We watched movies and of course ate anything we wanted...well Grace and I did. Tyler was stuck with baby food and formula. It was just some much needed time with these two kids!

Then the family came over Saturday. While Amos worked on finishing up my kitchen (yes, I said finishing up...yea!...post will be coming soon), Jess and I had some great conversation and you know I enjoy any moment spent with her and her family. Not to mention, she knows how much I have going on and created a to do list for me, to keep me organized and to help me not feel as overwhelmed. It was so greatly appreciated and really helps me take things one at a time. She even went as far as to place behind the list, a watermark of a picture I took in Africa, to remind me of my focus on God and His plan. It was incredible.

My dear friend Sarah then had me over for a delicious dinner that evening. We enjoyed some good conversation and fabulous tacos and brownies!!! It was another wonderful moment. It is always great to catch up with her and to just spend time with this great friend. We ended up watching the movie, No Reservations, which I highly recommend!

Sunday, I joined my extended family, Ang, Brad, Addie, and Ethan for church. They generously took me out for lunch where we met up with Susan and Randy. It was a great meal and I was just so grateful for the time spent with this family. I decided not to rush home, but spent the rest of the day just talking with Ang, Brad, and the kids. We talked about everything and the time just passed so quickly. I ended up staying for dinner and then leaving a bit afterwards.

I got home and thought about the time spent this weekend. I am once again reminded that I am not alone. Family and friends surround me, and God provided the much needed rest and helped me redirect my focus back on Him.

How wonderful that we are not alone...

Clarity

Clarity

Why Now?

Have you ever questioned God's timing?

Maybe once or twice...or a million times!

You see, I moved around a lot when I was younger. It was always exciting being in a new place, meeting new people, being able to start all over. Even after college, I found myself never really settled. I moved to Indianapolis, and ended up living in three different places, in three different parts of Indianapolis, during the three years I lived down there. And then I moved to northern Indiana, with the future plan of eventually moving out west.

Yet I have been here for almost four years....

I can't believe that I have lived in the same house and had the same job for almost four years now. That is seriously a record for me ;)! I am settled, and I love it! It isn't the area that makes it "home" to me. Nor is it my house. It is the relationships, the family, the friends that have come to be an important part of my life.

And yet, God is leading me away.

Why now?

Why after I have developed these strong relationships? Why after I have been surrounded by such love and support? Why now?

I shared my concern with my sister this past weekend. And as the encouraging sister that she is, she reminded me of the greater plan...not mine, but His. The relationships built on His love will remain strong and will continue to support me while I am away. But it is my trust in Christ that guides my steps, provides the strength that I need, and the peace that His will is greater than mine.

I have been looking into a couple of different opportunities, and though no final decision is made as of yet, I want to thank the special people in my life for the love that can be seen through them, the support and encouragement that they always share, and for teaching me the strength of relationships built on God's love.

I will take that with me where ever He leads...

A Taste of Africa...

and I'm ready to return...

Yesterday, I spent the morning cooking an African meal with my co-workers for our boss. Yeah, it was another grueling day at the office. Yeah right! You see, when it is someone's birthday they get to choose what they would like for lunch. Dave's birthday was about a week ago or so, but since Monday was the first day we all could be here for lunch, that is when we celebrated. And it was a very tasty celebration.

A couple weeks ago when asking Dave what he would like for his birthday lunch, he remembered that I purchased an African cookbook and requested some dishes from that. And I of course couldn't have been happier. The staff was a bit hesitant, so I offered to cook most of it, while another co-worker or two offered to help and try to make some dishes as well. It was so much fun!

We spent the morning in the kitchen mixing our spices, our sauces, and just laughing and talking. And in the end, the meal was delicious! Oh how it all reminded me of Malawi. The food was a bit different as they are in each country, but there are so many similarities. The seasonings were similar, the starches of course are common, and the gathering of people just reminded me of the nights Phil, Aaron, and I were taught how to cook nsima, chambo, and breakfast. We spent those nights in Malawi laughing as we attempted to try to cook some of these dishes and just enjoyed the time spent with each other. And that same environment was found in the kitchen yesterday.

In the end we all enjoyed an Ethiopian dish known as doro wett, shiro, or tibs wett, which is a traditional Ethiopian-style stir-fry made with beef or lamb. There was a dish of candied yams and plantains which are two staples of West African cooking. Along with that we had garlic roasted potatoes. And then finished off the meal with a dessert known as Koesisters, a doughnut like dessert found in Cape Town. Not to mention we also had tea. As delicious as the meal was, I truly enjoyed the interaction with my co-workers.

I sure do miss Africa, and hope God does lead me there again, but He definitely showed me the community we can have here, where ever we are, as long as we are open to each other and just take the time to listen and laugh with one another. It definitely was a great moment!

Speak Up Please...

February 6, 2008

Dear God,

Yeah, it has been a while it seems. I know you know all, so you probably know how busy I have been lately. I do have communication with you on my to do list, but then something comes up and time escapes me. So I haven't quite reached that task yet, but will do so soon.

If you need to reach me for anything, feel free to send me a text or email...or even one of those burning bushes you sent that Moses guy. That would definitely get my attention. With all the distractions here, it would be best if you could speak up. It is kind of hard to hear You these days.

I hope you are enjoying the furnishings of the closet I put you in. I had hoped to allow you into the other areas of my life, but at the moment they are filled with my own wants and desires. I will get to cleaning those out later, but have to get back to my favorite show right now.

Keep in touch!

All my love (on Sunday, Monday, and sometimes Wednesdays),
Jenn

Okay, so maybe we don't actually write God letters like this, but I think our actions speak differently. I am studying Exodus, and came to the story of Moses and the burning bush. Moses says to God, "Here I am."

And I couldn't help but think about where I am, not physically, but on the spiritual journey. Of course there are ups and downs, but it seems to me that my life shows more of the response in the letter, than Moses' response...Here I am.

I say, well God should speak up. Why can't I get a burning bush or something big like that? But why is it up to God to speak over all the distractions I add to my life? It is up to me to quiet all that is around me so that all I can hear is God? So that all I can hear is his voice whether it be a small whisper or a loud call guiding me, loving me, calling me.

Some of us wonder what our next step in life is. We worry, we stress, but we don't listen. I am not saying that it will all become clear, but I am saying it isn't on us to plan our lives. God has called each one of us to follow Him and He will provide that path. Listening to God isn't a task to put on your to do list, it is a part of life, every day, every moment.

Do you hear Him? Do you hear His call? Where is He leading you?

Let my life, my mind, my heart quiet to hear God...to respond with, Hear I am.

And the Award Goes To...

It was a football weekend for a group of us ladies!!!

Not only did we enjoy the Giants win over the Patriots in the Superbowl on Sunday. But we also celebrated another wonderful season of our ladies fantasy football league at our annual awards banquet!

Saturday we gathered together to enjoy each other's company off of the competitive playing field. We enjoyed a great meal of "stadium food", which was followed by the awards presentations and distribution of playbooks and programs containing the stats of each team.

We spent the evening laughing as each coach received their unique award. And even had the pleasure of a coach in North Carolina accepting her award via cell phone. You must check Jess' blog for that video. But it was just a great evening.

Award Recipients are as follows:

Amy (pictured above) and Kelli both received the Adrian Peterson Award since there are two Adrian Petersons playing in the NFL and these two ladies produced our first ever tie in a matchup.

Alicia (pictured above) received the Bears Award because her team made it to the playoffs last year, and didn't have a chance this year.

Sarah (pictured above) received the Colts Award because for the past two years her team has been in the top three. She is definitely someone we need to always watch out for.

Victoria received the Kevin Everett Award for making it through a big obstacle. Kevin was injured pretty seriously, but then recovered and is able to walk again. Victoria missed the draft...the only chance to pick a good team. We all drafted for her and she ended up being second in the league. Yeah, we are that nice!

Cathy (pictured above) received the Miami Dolphins Award because just as they won one game, she only beat one team in the standings.

Jamie received the Patriots Award because she cheated by making 12 moves, pretty much changing her entire team during the season.

Kristina received the Dallas Clark Award. Because she is another Clark that belongs in Indiana!!!

Jess (pictured above) received the Ronde Barber Award. I chose this award for her because I won both of our matchups and Ronde always fought for attention, but his twin Tiki always got it.

I (pictured above) received the Michael Vick Award chosen for me by my sister. She gave me this award because she believes I am a "thug" for "stealing" the last playoff spot from her ;).

Our awards are proudly displayed in our homes and we are all gearing up for the next season. As commish, I not only have to thank these ladies for another great season, but I also must thank my assistant commish - Jess who always wears many hats... from chef, to party planner, to award distributor, to master of fun and games ;). There isn't anything she can't do! So thanks everyone for participating in this league and for all the great times we have together!

You know, I can't help but think during times like these how much I will miss these ladies, these moments, when I leave for a short time. But God continues filling my heart with all of these memories and friendships so they will continue to be close to me know matter where I go.

Mister Penguin!

Oh, how the song, Mister Penguin, takes me back to the days when I began taking piano lessons. Mister Penguin was the first song I played. I can still hear its simple melody as if I had just learned it yesterday.

That is because it was practically yesterday. Yes! That's right! I am now taking piano lessons! I actually had my first lesson on Sunday...and am being taught by the one and only Mrs. Hahn. That is how I probably should refer to her since she is my teacher now.

I had a great time as I learned about different intervals and octaves. And even begin to play a bit. I know I am not going to be the greatest pianist or anything, but I am excited to learn this instrument. I enjoyed this lesson with Mrs. Hahn and am so very thankful for the time she is taking to teach me. She is a great instructor and an even better friend!

Thank you Mrs. Hahn (Alicia ;). I am playing Mister Penguin loud and proud! And Yankee Doodle is coming along great! Ha! Well, I better get to practicing!

I hope you all keep learning! It is never too late!

About 20 Days Later...

But it was still quite the celebration!

It was our annual Kings Day Party...Día De Los Reyes Fiesta! Though this usually is celebrated at the beginning of January, when trying to get college friends all over northern indiana together, you have to go with the date that works best for everyone!

Therefore, the party took place on Saturday. We didn't put out our shoes filled with hay for the wisemen's camels, but we did spend the night enjoying some great mexican food! And what fiesta is complete without a battle of the sexes game of pictionary!

A huge thanks to Jess for her wonderful and very helpful cooking skills as we spent the day cooking for the party. Thanks to Amos, Grace, and Tyler for helping keep the house clean, and making me laugh the entire night. Thanks to Dina for being a kid herself and spoiling the kids! Thanks to Brad, Ang, Addie, and Ethan for great conversation, good visit, and just the wonderful time I always have with you. Thanks to Scott and Sarah, not only for the amazing brownies, but for the fun times we share!

I love you all and am so grateful to share such a wonderful celebration with each one of you every year!!!

Unlocked Doors

Those who I am close with know the paradox I face in regards to entering the mission field long term. And that paradox was confirmed last night as I listened to the Hardenbrooks share their own story as they begin their journey to Sudan. The excitement and passion fills their hearts, but to say goodbye to their family and friends is a challenge, a struggle at times. Yet, through it all, they know it is what they are called to do and that God has and will continue to provide that strength.

Throughout their presentation they made a call for others to join them in this journey. And my heart was filled with hope. I listened intently, eager to learn more about the initiative, and anxious to consider this an opportunity.

But taking that next step means putting things in motion. It is no longer a thought, a dream, a desire...something to face down the road. Instead, it is about the present...moving forward knowing that no matter how challenging the path might be, God is with me and I am not alone.

I sat there going back and forth about whether I should talk to them about my interest in being a part of this initiative. And at the moment that I began to let my fear in taking this step get to me, a member of my church family approached me to let me know that he thought of me during this presentation and has been praying for my guidance. And then another member informed me that he and his wife have been praying for me and that they were so glad to see that I came to hear this presentation. What struck me is that none of these members knew of my desire to enter the mission field, and yet they prayed for me.

So I approached the Hardenbrooks to share my interest. They were very grateful and asked for my contact information. They even provided some great advice on where to attend some mission trainings. I will continue to pray for guidance. And whether God leads me to Sudan or another part of Africa, I trust in Him. I took that next step.



I do struggle at times discerning God's call, but have learned that He does not do it all for us. He unlocks the doors and it is up to us to have the faith to open them.

Wrapped In Love...

I have mentioned before just how rich I am. Not because I own all the latest gadgets, the expensive clothes, the fancy house, or the next great thing that is out on the market. For I have more than I could ever want and need in the love I find in my friends and family. When I have searched for encouragement, support, love, and hope, God wraps His arms around me and shows me that I am not alone. I can't count the many times God has used Matt and Alicia to show His love. For they have become family to me. And my life is richer for that. They have shown me that no matter how much you give, love never runs out.

You see, everyday Matt and Alicia give of themselves. They show love through teaching, through coaching, through leadership, through the interaction they have with each other and others. And now they are in the process of blessing another life with their love, through adoption.

The waiting process isn't always easy, and so all of us who have been touched by this couple wanted them to be wrapped in love...

We wanted them to feel the encouragement and support...the love that they have graciously shown us. We united together to share messages of encouragement. We worked together to create a quilt of hope. We gave financially to help provide support. And we came together to celebrate the love we all have to share.

Thank you Matt and Alicia for being an example of love to many! I am excited for this next step in your life. I don't know when things will take place, but I do know that God's timing is perfect. Just as you will be blessed with a child, I know this child will be very blessed with your love!

Thank you everyone for your assistance with the Wrapped in Love Project. Your words, your donations, your support made all of this possible! Thank you for sharing your love!

1 Thessalonians 3:12
May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.

In His Presence...

Saturday, I had the complete honor to serve as a bridesmaid for an incredible friend of mine.

I must first share how blessed I have been to know Sarah. You see, Sarah and I have developed quite the friendship over the course of a year or so. She has inspired me with her experience in missions. She has encouraged me as we talk about where life is leading. She has just taken the time to listen to anything I need to share. And I enjoy anytime we have together, whether it is talking over some good coffee or even traveling together. She is such a special person and God has blessed my life with her friendship.

God has blessed both Chris and Sarah with the love they have for each other and many of us gathered together to celebrate that love. To see them together, is to see the great amount of love that exists. You see the respect they have for each other and how much they appreciate the uniqueness of one another. Chris has become a good friend to me and it has been such a pleasure getting to know him. With the compassion they have for others, I can only imagine the lives they will continue to touch with their love.

And in His presence...they were united!

Thank you my beautiful friend for allowing us all the honor to be a part of this wonderful moment.

May God continue to bless you two and your marriage!

For He has such great plans for you! Love ya lots...M.E.

A Walk In The Rain

How easy the rain came. How fast it came and how hard it rained. Have you ever had those moments in life that just open your eyes and you know you will never be the same? Have you ever been acutely aware of how truly difficult it can be sometimes to say, no matter what is thrown at me I will not waiver in my walk with Christ? I will not retreat.

I think we all face those times. We have those times that set us back, that make us question, that make us worry, that bring pain, that make us aware of just how human we are and how difficult life can be. So what do we do?

Some of us retreat to a place where we feel safe, maybe build that wall around us that we tried so hard to finally break down. Some of us turn from what we know, question why we ever believed in the first place, and try to run for cover...to find protection from the rain.

But I choose to walk...to walk in the rain. I choose to stay on my walk, vulnerable and open to Him. I choose to walk, not run, but walk with God who leads me on.

And I find the peace walking in the rain...

Welcome

A beautiful welcome to 2008!

2008 and Always...

Happy New Year everyone! As I rang in the New Year with friends and family, I thought about what 2008 might be like...and the words to the following song filled my heart...

Jesus, be my center
Be my source, be my light, Jesus

Jesus, be my center
Be my hope, be my song, Jesus

Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in these sails
Be the reason that I live
Jesus, Jesus

Jesus, be my vision
Be my path, be my guide, Jesus

I don't know what the next year holds, but I know with Christ in control I will be doing His will. Some important decisions have been made and I will follow where He leads.

May He be your center in 2008 and always!

Open Eyes

Most of the people who know me would categorize me as a pretty optimistic person, but I do understand reality. I may not understand all that is going on in the world around me, but I try. I was saddened by the assassination of Bhutto. It is the reminder of the violence people face every day. It is an example of the hate and fear that exists between people. Her life is one of the many that have been taken violently. And yet, the question posed by reporters on the story is, how are "we" affected by this?

How about the simple fact that violence is terrorizing the world? How about the simple fact that fear is a part of many people's lives on a daily basis? How about the simple fact that others are suffering, dying?

I can't help but be affected by this and refuse to close my eyes to any of it. So I continue learning about all that is going on and continue to ask, what can I do?

The Gift of You

As wonderful as the gifts were and as delicious as the food was, I can honestly say that those won't be my Christmas memories. You know that old saying...giving is better than receiving? I can't help but wonder what it would be like if people took that phrase past the simple idea of gifts...to the giving of oneself. Because it was during those moments that the spirit of Christmas was seen and enjoyed! See for yourself...

What is your gift to others?

Just a Little Longer

There was a moment last night where I was sitting on the couch talking with Jackie who was sharing some funny stories of her children, watching Carrie who was being surrounded by the kids as they threw their toys all around her, and hearing Jess who was running around the house while being a great hostess at the same time. I sat there surrounded by all of this and thought to myself...just a little longer.

I knew it was almost time for them to leave, but I just wanted to continue to enjoy my time with these ladies and their adorable families...just a little longer.

We met in college and our friendship continues to grow. I love catching up with these friends, and of course tasting their delicious food as they all definitely know how to cook and bake!!! How lucky am I? I love how the love and appreciation we have for each other allows our friendship to flourish...just a little longer...and longer...and longer...

I hope that the time you have is spent in such moments!

Seek Him Fervently...

A couple of days ago I took the chance of being honest with some close friends of mine about a restlessness that I have been feeling. Being able to share this with them has been more helpful than expected. I was honest with myself. I was honest with them. And most of all I was finally honest with God about the fears that hold me back from truly listening to Him.

Seek Him fervently was something that was shared with me. It is a message that I have been thinking about lately. How easy those fears crept in and grabbed a hold of me. How easy doubt set in. Why? Because I stopped seeking God in all parts of my life...in every moment. I tried to compartmentalize Him, seeking Him only in certain parts of my life, calling on Him only when I face big decisions or when I finally realize I can't do it alone.

It is time to seek God fervently in all of life's steps. It is time to passionately seek Him and listen to Him. It is time for Him to exist in all areas of life leaving no room for fear and doubt...

and where He leads...I will follow