Tuesday, May 30, 2006

There is Something About Her

QUIET and ENCOURAGING...BEAUTIFUL and STRONG...CREATIVE and INSPIRATIONAL. Her voice COMFORTS me and can assist in calming my fears, my doubts, my insecurities. She knows how to LOVE and knows when to LOVE. She steps back to let me SHINE and yet wonders why I ADMIRE her. Her eyes look past my inperfections to see what I can be and WHO I AM. Sometimes she stumbles, but with HUMILITY she admits her mistakes. She knows she is not perfect, but STRIVES to be her best. Sometimes she gets wrapped up in worldly things and emotions, but remembers to TURN to GOD for GUIDANCE and STRENGTH. Her heart GIVES love without expecting anything in return. She is a wonderful sister who is not perfect but who LOVES me with UNDERSTANDING, PATIENCE, AND RESPECT. What a strong and beautiful woman.

What We Can Learn

What a great weekend!

This weekend I spent a lot of time with my sister, brother-in-law, and neice, and it just got me thinking more about all the games we play. I watched Grace, who let's you know everything she is thinking and feeling at that moment. She doesn't hide her feelings. She doesn't feel the need to pretend to be someone she isn't. She doesn't need a lot to be happy. She knows that when she falls someone will pick her up. She knows that she will be comforted when she hurts herself. She isn't afraid to grow up. She doesn't hide behind things like material items or obsessions. She experienced her first real boat ride at an age where she understands more about what is going on. Yes, she was scared. But she also trusted that her parents where there to hold her and keep her safe.

There is just so much we can learn from children...especially all the simple ways they show love and affection. We spent our time together on the boat giving finger kisses, which would just make her laugh and eagerly reach her finger out again for another one!

I just love the "realness" of life and love!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


This morning, while reading scripture, I began to think about our ability to overcome...anything...even our own will. I am still studying 1Samuel and learning about David's faith. I came to the scripture that tells of David's opportunities to kill Saul, and yet he does not.

1Samuel 26:11 states, "But the LORD forbid that I should lay a hand on the LORD's anointed. Now get the spear and water jug that are near his head, and let's go."

How? How could David watch Saul sleep, a man who is trying to kill him, and not take action against this man?

Why? Why did David not harm Saul, protect himself?

How? How could David just walk away?

David overcame his own will.

David listened to God's instructions. He had to have truly understood that God's will was more important than his own. He had to have a faith so strong to trust his life with God...especially when it was being threatened.

I thought about the desires, the emotions and grudges, the destructive behavior that we face and deal with in life. If someone hurts us, sometimes we hold on to it and hold it against them.... and sometimes we retaliate. Some people form hate groups because they are scared of the unknown, of things and cultures that they don't understand.

We develop excuses to harm or hurt others...believing that we have the responsibility to judge or punish those who wrong us or even those we don't understand. We stop listening to God and start listening to ourselves.

I know that I can't just listen to God when it is convenient for me...doing what He asks when it is something that I want to do. I need to listen to him even when He asks me to do something I would have trouble doing...and ask for the strength to fulfill His will.

I pray that I am open to God, so that He may work through me. I pray that He overcomes me, so that I may overcome my own will to fulfill His.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Wept is such a strong word. It is word full of emotion, a descriptive word that even in it's simplicity, says a lot.

I spent this morning focusing on the word wept...what it meant to me, and how that meaning has changed. I admit it. I was one of those people who thought that weeping was a sign of weakness. No one directly told me that, it is just something I picked up from somewhere in the past 26 years of my life. I have been reading 1Samuel the past month or so and when I came to verse 41 I was struck by the word "wept".

It states, "After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together-but David wept the most"…such a passionate verse, such emotion.

Throughout the past few chapters, the scripture explains the strong friendship between Jonathan and David, but in this verse I can actually feel the strength of that friendship...I can feel the love. In this scripture I can sense the deep love and emotions that are present.

What a gift to love so strongly and to be loved so deeply. To express such pure, raw, and genuine emotion is not weak, but powerful, honest, and beautiful.

Wept...what a simple yet expressive word.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Sing It Ella!

As I was thinking about how busy the past few weeks have been, there is a memory that I want to share with you. I don't know how often my parents read this, but I hope they read this one because they are both very special to me and it is moments like these that I reflect on when we are apart.

The memory I want to share took place a couple of weeks ago during their visit. Not much time has passed since then, but I know I will remember this moment vividly for years to come.

My parents and I came home from an okay dinner that my sis and I attempted to make for them. But we made it with love, and isn't that all that matters? :). Mom and dad gathered their stuff so that they would be ready to leave the next morning. Dad poured some wine for us and we congregated in the living room. I told dad that we needed some music and asked what his preference might be...knowing exactly what he would request...some good jazz music.

I put in my favorite ella and louis cd, and we sat on the couch and listened. The room was quiet, except for the beautiful music that was both calming and amazing. We just listened. Every once in a while we would talk about how strong, clear, and natural Ella's voice was. We would make a comment here or there about a certain song. But for the most part we just listened and enjoyed our wine.

As much as I love jazz, the night was amazing because of who I shared it with...my dad. I can still picture his face as he enjoyed every note. We don't have a lot in common, but jazz is something that we both love. We connect with jazz. I may not know all the greats, or why they are so great. I may not be able to tell you what certain jazz songs mean or pick out different musicians or musical terms, but I can tell you exactly how it makes me feel. I can tell you the emotions it brings to me. I can tell you the memories that come with certain jazz songs, and from moments like the ones with my dad.

So I just want to say...thanks dad for moments like the one we shared. Thank you for being you. Thanks mom and dad for all the great memories I have and all you have introduced me to.

love always,
stella by starlight