Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Two posts in one day. I just couldn't help myself.

It is raining right now, and I find myself staring out my window wishing I was outside. Rain to me is just as wonderful as sunny days. I love those warm nights when the thunderstorms surround us and the lighting flashes just enough to light up a portion of the sky and then it quickly disappears. Walking in that atmosphere is extraordinary. Though my parents, and some others, may not feel that is the safest time to walk, I find walking in rainstorms peaceful, calming, and exciting all at the same time.

But for the moment I must try to focus and finish my work for the day. So for now I will just live and experience that walk through my imagination...until the rain calls my name another day.

For all those who enjoy rain as much as I do, have a wonderful rainy day!

Guarded Hearts

Why do we sometimes try to change who we are to meet someone else's expectations? Why do we try to be like everyone else, or even worse, try to be better than everyone else? Why are we afraid to show who we really are, what we really think, and what we really feel?

We all have done it at least once, not just in the dating scene, but also in other circumstances, even in our own circle of friends. Are we so ashamed or disappointed in ourselves that we are scared to stand up and express ourselves…just respect ourselves? I'll be honest...there have been several times in my life where I chose to hide what I think or feel, just so I don't stand out...or get hurt.

In reality, I think some of us have just been guarding our hearts. We play games so we don't get hurt as much as we could if we were just able to be honest with each other. The feeling of "pain", "hurt", or "rejection" scares us so much, that we would rather hide our true feelings and thoughts, even our dreams. We would rather keep it all inside and just go with the flow. Yet, we are hurting ourselves more than we realize. We are missing out on so much. Because with the hurt comes the love, the honesty, the true feelings, the ability to move forward, the adventure, the journey.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Aunt Puppy...A Good Example?

My cutie head neice is growing so fast. I am lucky enough to get to see her atleast 2-3 times a week, which of course I love. I get to watch her as she is constantly growing and learning something new. Right now she is on this kick of saying one particular word. The word isn't "no". It isn't "mommy" or "daddy", though she does say mamamama and dadadadada. It isn't "aunt jenn", though i have been pushing that :). It is...drum roll please...."PUPPY"....yup, puppy. She is almost a year old, and all day long she will say puppy and then smile or laugh.

You see, my sis and brother-in-law have a small dog who my neice loves and she has a large yellow stuffed animal which is also a puppy. So naturally, being surrounded by puppies, she says "PUPPY". It is just the cutest thing. so cute, that I have officially changed my name to aunt puppy so that i can say that she said my name first :).

In all the awe I am in watching her grow, learn, and develop, I can't help but think of how much she is influenced by her environment. It really makes me think about the way I act. She watches with eyes that catch everything you do and listens carefully with ears that hear everything you say. She seems so innocent and pure...though I believe deep down she has her mom's mischievous side, and her dad's competitiveness :). But I want to be a good example for her. And I strive to be that example, though I do stumble sometimes.

I wish we all could be good examples of faith and love and then innocent children can learn more about Christ, love, truth rather than hate, materialism, and power. I watch the news and see the violence and hatred that exists, but when I look into Grace's eyes, I see hope. Hope that by being surrounded by good examples, she can live a life of faith and love in a world that encourages it, not destroys it.

I want to be a good example.