Our Examples

Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction. - 2 Timothy 4:2...You taught us the word of the Lord with passion and carefully instructed us on the ways that are right. A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. - John 13:34...You not only sacrificed for us and loved us so greatly as to hurt when we hurt and rejoice when we rejoice, but showed us how to love others with a love that has no boundaries or restrictions. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness - Titus 2:7...Out of everything you have taught us, out of all the love you have shown us, what really is emphasized through your lives is your faith in the Lord. Faith that by striving to listen and by standing on the foundation of Christ, He will guide you, love you, and hold you! What examples you have been. And for all of that I thank you. For all of that, I give glory and praise to God.

Wonder

Wonder filled me when I held Addison! When I saw that smile...while I watched her sleep...while I held her close to me and let her warmth surround us both, I was in wonder....wonder of what this world held for her. I wondered what her personality would be. I wondered if she could possibly know how much she is loved. I wondered if she will know what a blessing she is to all of us. I wondered how God could give us the ability to love someone so much. Congratulations Brad and Ang! We love you all. And thank you God for the blessings and wonder you provide.

Makes Me Wanna Dance!

Excited... Anxious... Stirred... Thrilled... Delighted... Eager... Enthusiastic... Happy... Zippy... Alive... Ecstatic... Elated... Gladdened... Joyful... Chipper... Jubilant... Overjoyed... and "what not..."

This is what I am feeling!

I am so excited to visit with my parents this weekend and thank them for being such wonderful parents. I am excited about our relationship and I am grateful for their LOVE!

It is only Tuesday and I am already this excited. It is the kind of feeling that makes me wanna dance!

Come Together

What an amazing experience I had this past weekend. I have worked with Habitat several times before. But this one was different.

Why? First, it was in my own community! It really opened my eyes to the need that is right next door. Secondly, I worked side by side with strangers, but also with friends. Volunteering has always been a passion of mine...especially Habitat. There is something amazing that happens when people COME TOGETHER for a cause.

I don't know much about building houses, but just by being able to hammer a nail, to carry items, and in this case...to read directions (putting up a hospitality tent), I was able to HELP construct a house for a very deserving family.

My favorite part of a Habitat build is the framing section. The house begins to take shape and seeing people work together to lift a wall is just inspiring. Maybe Habitat isn't something you are interested in, but there are different areas of the community both on a local and global level that could use the skills God gave you.

Reach out! Speak up! Do Something!

There is Something About Her

QUIET and ENCOURAGING...BEAUTIFUL and STRONG...CREATIVE and INSPIRATIONAL. Her voice COMFORTS me and can assist in calming my fears, my doubts, my insecurities. She knows how to LOVE and knows when to LOVE. She steps back to let me SHINE and yet wonders why I ADMIRE her. Her eyes look past my inperfections to see what I can be and WHO I AM. Sometimes she stumbles, but with HUMILITY she admits her mistakes. She knows she is not perfect, but STRIVES to be her best. Sometimes she gets wrapped up in worldly things and emotions, but remembers to TURN to GOD for GUIDANCE and STRENGTH. Her heart GIVES love without expecting anything in return. She is a wonderful sister who is not perfect but who LOVES me with UNDERSTANDING, PATIENCE, AND RESPECT. What a strong and beautiful woman.

What We Can Learn

What a great weekend!

This weekend I spent a lot of time with my sister, brother-in-law, and neice, and it just got me thinking more about all the games we play. I watched Grace, who let's you know everything she is thinking and feeling at that moment. She doesn't hide her feelings. She doesn't feel the need to pretend to be someone she isn't. She doesn't need a lot to be happy. She knows that when she falls someone will pick her up. She knows that she will be comforted when she hurts herself. She isn't afraid to grow up. She doesn't hide behind things like material items or obsessions. She experienced her first real boat ride at an age where she understands more about what is going on. Yes, she was scared. But she also trusted that her parents where there to hold her and keep her safe.


There is just so much we can learn from children...especially all the simple ways they show love and affection. We spent our time together on the boat giving finger kisses, which would just make her laugh and eagerly reach her finger out again for another one!

I just love the "realness" of life and love!

Overcome

This morning, while reading scripture, I began to think about our ability to overcome...anything...even our own will. I am still studying 1Samuel and learning about David's faith. I came to the scripture that tells of David's opportunities to kill Saul, and yet he does not.

1Samuel 26:11 states, "But the LORD forbid that I should lay a hand on the LORD's anointed. Now get the spear and water jug that are near his head, and let's go."

How? How could David watch Saul sleep, a man who is trying to kill him, and not take action against this man?

Why? Why did David not harm Saul, protect himself?

How? How could David just walk away?

David overcame his own will.

David listened to God's instructions. He had to have truly understood that God's will was more important than his own. He had to have a faith so strong to trust his life with God...especially when it was being threatened.

I thought about the desires, the emotions and grudges, the destructive behavior that we face and deal with in life. If someone hurts us, sometimes we hold on to it and hold it against them.... and sometimes we retaliate. Some people form hate groups because they are scared of the unknown, of things and cultures that they don't understand.

We develop excuses to harm or hurt others...believing that we have the responsibility to judge or punish those who wrong us or even those we don't understand. We stop listening to God and start listening to ourselves.

I know that I can't just listen to God when it is convenient for me...doing what He asks when it is something that I want to do. I need to listen to him even when He asks me to do something I would have trouble doing...and ask for the strength to fulfill His will.

I pray that I am open to God, so that He may work through me. I pray that He overcomes me, so that I may overcome my own will to fulfill His.

Wept

Wept is such a strong word. It is word full of emotion, a descriptive word that even in it's simplicity, says a lot.

I spent this morning focusing on the word wept...what it meant to me, and how that meaning has changed. I admit it. I was one of those people who thought that weeping was a sign of weakness. No one directly told me that, it is just something I picked up from somewhere in the past 26 years of my life. I have been reading 1Samuel the past month or so and when I came to verse 41 I was struck by the word "wept".

It states, "After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together-but David wept the most"…such a passionate verse, such emotion.

Throughout the past few chapters, the scripture explains the strong friendship between Jonathan and David, but in this verse I can actually feel the strength of that friendship...I can feel the love. In this scripture I can sense the deep love and emotions that are present.

What a gift to love so strongly and to be loved so deeply. To express such pure, raw, and genuine emotion is not weak, but powerful, honest, and beautiful.

Wept...what a simple yet expressive word.

Sing It Ella!

As I was thinking about how busy the past few weeks have been, there is a memory that I want to share with you. I don't know how often my parents read this, but I hope they read this one because they are both very special to me and it is moments like these that I reflect on when we are apart.

The memory I want to share took place a couple of weeks ago during their visit. Not much time has passed since then, but I know I will remember this moment vividly for years to come.

My parents and I came home from an okay dinner that my sis and I attempted to make for them. But we made it with love, and isn't that all that matters? :). Mom and dad gathered their stuff so that they would be ready to leave the next morning. Dad poured some wine for us and we congregated in the living room. I told dad that we needed some music and asked what his preference might be...knowing exactly what he would request...some good jazz music.

I put in my favorite ella and louis cd, and we sat on the couch and listened. The room was quiet, except for the beautiful music that was both calming and amazing. We just listened. Every once in a while we would talk about how strong, clear, and natural Ella's voice was. We would make a comment here or there about a certain song. But for the most part we just listened and enjoyed our wine.

As much as I love jazz, the night was amazing because of who I shared it with...my dad. I can still picture his face as he enjoyed every note. We don't have a lot in common, but jazz is something that we both love. We connect with jazz. I may not know all the greats, or why they are so great. I may not be able to tell you what certain jazz songs mean or pick out different musicians or musical terms, but I can tell you exactly how it makes me feel. I can tell you the emotions it brings to me. I can tell you the memories that come with certain jazz songs, and from moments like the ones with my dad.

So I just want to say...thanks dad for moments like the one we shared. Thank you for being you. Thanks mom and dad for all the great memories I have and all you have introduced me to.

love always,
stella by starlight

Rain

Two posts in one day. I just couldn't help myself.

It is raining right now, and I find myself staring out my window wishing I was outside. Rain to me is just as wonderful as sunny days. I love those warm nights when the thunderstorms surround us and the lighting flashes just enough to light up a portion of the sky and then it quickly disappears. Walking in that atmosphere is extraordinary. Though my parents, and some others, may not feel that is the safest time to walk, I find walking in rainstorms peaceful, calming, and exciting all at the same time.

But for the moment I must try to focus and finish my work for the day. So for now I will just live and experience that walk through my imagination...until the rain calls my name another day.

For all those who enjoy rain as much as I do, have a wonderful rainy day!

Guarded Hearts

Why do we sometimes try to change who we are to meet someone else's expectations? Why do we try to be like everyone else, or even worse, try to be better than everyone else? Why are we afraid to show who we really are, what we really think, and what we really feel?

We all have done it at least once, not just in the dating scene, but also in other circumstances, even in our own circle of friends. Are we so ashamed or disappointed in ourselves that we are scared to stand up and express ourselves…just respect ourselves? I'll be honest...there have been several times in my life where I chose to hide what I think or feel, just so I don't stand out...or get hurt.

In reality, I think some of us have just been guarding our hearts. We play games so we don't get hurt as much as we could if we were just able to be honest with each other. The feeling of "pain", "hurt", or "rejection" scares us so much, that we would rather hide our true feelings and thoughts, even our dreams. We would rather keep it all inside and just go with the flow. Yet, we are hurting ourselves more than we realize. We are missing out on so much. Because with the hurt comes the love, the honesty, the true feelings, the ability to move forward, the adventure, the journey.

Aunt Puppy...A Good Example?

My cutie head neice is growing so fast. I am lucky enough to get to see her atleast 2-3 times a week, which of course I love. I get to watch her as she is constantly growing and learning something new. Right now she is on this kick of saying one particular word. The word isn't "no". It isn't "mommy" or "daddy", though she does say mamamama and dadadadada. It isn't "aunt jenn", though i have been pushing that :). It is...drum roll please...."PUPPY"....yup, puppy. She is almost a year old, and all day long she will say puppy and then smile or laugh.

You see, my sis and brother-in-law have a small dog who my neice loves and she has a large yellow stuffed animal which is also a puppy. So naturally, being surrounded by puppies, she says "PUPPY". It is just the cutest thing. so cute, that I have officially changed my name to aunt puppy so that i can say that she said my name first :).

In all the awe I am in watching her grow, learn, and develop, I can't help but think of how much she is influenced by her environment. It really makes me think about the way I act. She watches with eyes that catch everything you do and listens carefully with ears that hear everything you say. She seems so innocent and pure...though I believe deep down she has her mom's mischievous side, and her dad's competitiveness :). But I want to be a good example for her. And I strive to be that example, though I do stumble sometimes.

I wish we all could be good examples of faith and love and then innocent children can learn more about Christ, love, truth rather than hate, materialism, and power. I watch the news and see the violence and hatred that exists, but when I look into Grace's eyes, I see hope. Hope that by being surrounded by good examples, she can live a life of faith and love in a world that encourages it, not destroys it.

I want to be a good example.

Remember

Well, my wonderful sister reminded me that it is time for another entry. Today seemed like a good time to do just that. Thanks sis!

About an hour ago, I needed a break from working on proposals for a few minutes and decided to look at some pictures. Luckily, being so high tech and all, 90% of my pictures are digital and are all organized on a photo website. So I perused my different albums, looking at pictures of friends, of past events and of family. While doing this I remembered how I felt during those times, how friendships have grown or changed, and just how amazing it is that we can capture certain emotions and times in our lives in a picture.

Sometimes I can get caught up in looking forward so much that I forget about the past, the moments and people in life who have helped shape who I am today. Remembering those times and people is so very important. I find myself laughing out loud at those great candid photos or noticing the many characteristics of a person in the portrait photos.

It makes me wonder what I will think of or remember when, in the future, I look back on the photos during this stage of my life....joy, change, loss, reflection, happiness, growth, hope, faith, love.... I guess I will just have to wait and see....

Satisfied

Ever have those moments where you just think and feel..."I'm satisfied"? Some how satisfied has turned into a word that means so-so, just okay. But to me satisfied means filled, at peace, loved. And lately, I have had many satisfied moments, times where I look at my life and who I am and am satisfied.

Being satisfied is a great feeling, a feeling of knowing that you have more than you ever need and that you are blessed. I am so thankful for these moments. These moments encourage me to keep trusting and having Faith...to be thankful for every second, minute, hour, and day.

These moments remind me to be open to God and his plans so that I can be led...so that I can say to God, "It is all yours...It is all for you".

Busy Weeks and Snickerdoodles!

Do I even have time to write this? I have about 10 free minutes today so here I am. There is just something about busy weeks. They seem to come in groups. How does that work? I am currently trying to get my house ready or "up to code" for a good friend of mine to move in. At work, I am preparing for another grant cycle, in the middle of our Teens on Boards program, gearing up for the senior prom our youth pod is putting on, preparing to talk to three middle school girl power groups about community service, organizing a fatherhood summit, and working on our sustaining resource development plan. All that means late nights and meetings at the office. Did I mention that I have to plan the fun staff meeting for tomorrow? So after my 6:00pm meeting tonight I am off to make snickerdoodles for the staff meeting and prepare some games. But that is okay...because if it weren't for these busy weeks, I wouldn't enjoy my slow times nearly as much. I wouldn't appreciate the extra 15 minutes I can sleep in on some mornings. I wouldn't look forward to those days when I can go shopping, watch a good movie, paint, scrapbook, cook, etc.

So here is to busy weeks and snickerdoodles!

I Love...

Yesterday was Valentine's day and it was a great day! It is a day about love and love is definitely something to celebrate!

I love God
I love life
I love mom and dad
I love my sis
I love my brother-in-law
I love my neice
I love the rest of my family :)
I love my friends
I love my bible study group
I love my two cats..though they get in quite a bit of trouble together :)
I love summer, fall, spring, and winter
I love my job
I love my church family
I love my oh so soft pillow
I love the sunny days and the rain storms
I love coffee houses and good food
I love art, photography, music
I love good conversations and laughing for no good reason
I love facing a new day
I love God
I love...

He Provides

One of my amazing friends recently posted a message on her blog entitled "He Provides". What a truly uplifting statement! I know I am comforted everyday with the love He provides. I am blessed everyday with the love and support of family. I am humbled everyday with the amazing friends who touch my life. I am thankful everyday for the simple ways God blesses my life. Thank you God for your promise, your love, and the hope you provide the world.

God blesses us everyday! It is up to us to notice! When is the last time you noticed?

Service

Have you ever taken a service trip of some sort and then have it become a life changing experience for you as well? When you go with an open heart and mind and allow yourself to be vulnerable in order to really make an impact in someone's life or in a certain area, you too become moved or even humbled in the experience. That is what happened to me during my short visit to Zimbabwe. My interactions with the community allowed me to see and appreciate real gratitude, strong faith, and abundant love. I can't put into words the shift in perspective that took place, but I will be ever grateful to God for the experience, to the friends I made who have showed me real happiness, real love, and real satisfaction through their strong faith.

Forwards

I know we all get bombarded with e-mail forwards. A lot of them can be considered junk mail... but there are those that just some how reach me and touch me if just for a moment. In one that I received from a friend recently was the following scripture verse:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

What a peaceful message of hope that I just had to "forward" on.

The What If Game

Ever find yourself playing the what if game? About a week ago I was playing that game. What if I had done this? What if I had chosen this? What if I had said no? What if I had said yes? At first, I considered some of my choices..."bad" choices. But the more I thought about things, I began to realize all the stuff I would have missed out on if I hadn't chosen the path I am traveling. Maybe I had some missed opportunities along the way, but then again maybe I wasn't ready for those opportunities. Our paths aren't straight and I think we learn something and even gain something from each choice we make. I don't know...I just feel like the path I am traveling, the life I am living is preparing me for something wonderful. I can't explain in words, but it is a feeling that gives me hope everyday...and gives me the strength to appreciate my life...and all the choices I make as long as God remains at the center.